If personal holiness is thought of
as being a name at the top of a list, it is understood wrong. If
it is thought of as something that merits a feast in the Church’s
calendar it is understood wrong. If it is thought of as something to which
is attached the power of working miracles it is understood wrong. If it is
thought of as mooning about in a state of pious contentment (or sweet
ecstasy or noble and aloof virtue) it is understood wrong. There is
nothing `superior,' in the sense of being one up on everybody else, about
it.
The way to think of sanctity is as something that, by being generous
and faithful to grace, gives back to God the love that he has given to the
soul. So it is for God's sake, more than for our own, that we should want
to be saints. We work away at holiness not because we are ambitious, and
want to be experts in a particular kind of lofty career, but because God
wants us to be saints and is praised by our striving after sanctity.
Anyone can be holy, or rather act holy, so long as others are saying
`there's a saint for you,' but sooner or later this sort of holiness wears
off. Either the person sees the trap, becomes humble, and goes ahead
towards real holiness, or keeping up the act becomes too much of a strain
and there's a swing towards worldliness and perhaps to a lasting
ungodliness. The whole secret of sanctity is that it is a thing of grace.
So it cannot be switched on as a part to be played.
This means that however determined you areto be a saint, you will not
become one if you rely on your own strength of mind. The only thing that
can get you to sanctity is God's grace. You will need all the strength of
mind you have got just to work together with God's grace, but if you
imagine that making good strong resolutions will carry you the whole way
you are wrong. About the first thing to happen will be that God lets you
break some of those good strong resolutions before you get properly
started. This will be to put you in your place, and show you that you can
do nothing without him.
Once you are decently humbled, knowing that left to yourself you cannot
even carry out the things that you very much want to carry out, you are
getting ready to be used. You are being softened up like a steak. When all
the toughness and pride and glamorized ideas of holiness have been beaten
out of you by the down-to-earth action of truth, then God has got
something there on which he can work. Without false notions and fancy
plans, you can now begin to fall in with the true notions of holiness and
with the plan which God has in mind for you.
It
stands to reason. God is
not going to reward anyone else's work but his own. You cannot expect him
to recognize a holiness that he has done nothing to bring about.
When you get right down to it, there is only one real goodness, one
perfection, one sanctity, and that is God's. When man invents a holiness
of his own God lets him look for it but does not help him find it. Because
a holiness of one's own does not exist, it is a waste of time searching
for it. It is as if someone were to look for moonlight without the moon.
Once you admit that all moonlight is bound to come from one particular
place, and that it is a thing you cannot make yourself, you have learned
something.
Another thing to notice right at the beginning about holiness is that
there is no cut-and-dried pattern about it. It is what God wants out of
you, and because you are not exactly the same as anyone else the holiness
that is to be yours will not be exactly like anyone else's. The model of
all holiness is our Lord, and unless you grow to be like him you will
never get anywhere in holiness, but this does not mean that all who follow
him will end up exactly alike. Our Lord appeals to us in his way, and we
answer him in our way.
If twenty artists are told to paint a picture of the crucifixion, they
will all show the same thing but in twenty different ways. There will be
twenty quite separate pictures, no two alike. This is how God wants our
response to be: each one his own. Now just as it would show a weakness in
one of those twenty artists to copy as closely as possible the painting of
the artist next to him, so it would be a weakness for one follower of our
Lord to copy as closely as possible the particular holiness of another
follower. He should make it his first job to follow our Lord. The ways by
which others have followed our Lord can be a tremendous help, just as the
ways other people use can be a tremendous help to painting, but our Lord
who is himself `the way, the truth, the life' wants something out of you
which is your own to give and is not just a copy. The saints produce
masterpieces because of each one's likeness to our Lord, not because of
each one's likeness to another. By all means let us imitate the way in
which the saints went about it, but by no means let us copy the results.
God wants an original reproduction of himself, not a forgery.
Then,
what is it that the saints do which makes them into saints?
The answer is that they do two
things: on the one side they keep clear of anything that they think is
going to get in the way of grace, and on the other they head directly for
our Lord. The only thing to be added to this is that they do it for the
glory of God and not for what they can get out of it. They are the ones
who ‘seek first the kingdom of God,’ and for the king's sake rather
than for their own, and who are ready to wait as long as God likes for the
day when ‘all these things’ shall be added to them.
So it is not that the saints do particularly `saintly' things (like
fierce penances, whole nights spent on their knees, miracles, prophecies,
raptures in prayer); it is more that they do all things in a particularly
saintly way in exactly the way that they feel God wants. To them the only
thing in the world that matters is God's will. They know that by doing
God's will as perfectly as they can they are imitating our Lord, they are
expressing charity, and they are being true to the best that is in them.
All this should be a great encouragement to us because it shows that
our service of God does not depend upon how we feel about it, but upon how
God looks at it, not upon acts which are seen to be heroic, but upon how
ready we are to let God draw heroism out of us, not upon battling our way
to a certain point which will give us the title of `saint' but upon
following blindly the course which is set by God's will.
Condensed from Sanctity In
other Words, by Dom Hubert van Zeller © 1963 Templegate Publishers.,
Springfield.