To Love is to Forgive, By Father Robert DeGrandis, S.S.J.

SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS (AP) The father of four children who were stabbed to death in April had himself arrested Wednesday in an effort to meet the children’s killer in jail, police said. But police said the father, Ernest Albert Mann, was unaware that Leo Narvaiz, Jr., 20, already had been transferred to death row in Huntsville. Narvaiz was convicted last week of murdering Mann’s daughters, Shannon, 17; Jennifer, 19; and Martha, 15; and son, Ernesto, 13. Narvaiz was a former boyfriend of Shannon.

"Mann told police he learned from a news report this week that his son had been stabbed 67 times. "l want to see him (Narvaiz), face to face," Mann told officers when he was arrested on a complaint of theft under $20.

"Mann, 36, was arrested after officers received a call about 1:50 a.m. about a man walking along a street picking up items left outdoors and placing them in his pickup truck. An officer stopped a motorist whose truck contained three garden hoses, five lawn chairs, a lawn mower, three garbage cans, a barbecue pit, a rake and a garden sprinkler. Mann was fined $50 on a charge of theft under $20.

"I heard on the radio this morning on my way to work he stabbed my boy 67 times. He stabbed him 67 times," Mann told the night magistrate as he began weeping.

This article appeared in the Times Picayune newspaper in New Orleans, Louisiana, in May of 1993. It caught my attention because so much of the trouble in the world today is a desire for "revenge," rather than for "forgiveness" as mandated by Jesus Christ in the Gospel.

Not only was the crime in this article abhorrent, but the ferocity with which it was committed is unspeakable. What caused such anger, and what could have changed the father’s attitude? Was his real need to "forgive" rather than to "get revenge"? Could it not be argued that the personal condition within the mind, heart, and soul of the killer that incited the crime should never have existed in the first place!

How can we feel that ANY human transgression is too "unforgivable"? Our Blessed Savior was inhumanely tried, condemned, and crucified. But He humanely forgave everybody and asked His Father to forgive humanity for all of our sins for all time to come. If Jesus, the Man-God could and did forgive, why cannot and do not we? Is it because of our pride--our ego? Does insulted pride foment uncontrollable rage in us? Do we need to become more humble, more understanding, and more patient? Do we need to reflect more on the bad things WE do? Do we need to pray more? Would prayer to free us from our negative emotions not help us to become more forgiving?

In many cases, a crime is committed for what seems a rather ordinary problem. It may have been caused by an everyday situation that didn’t get resolved to somebody’s satisfaction. Could that ever be sufficient reason to kill? It has even been reported that someone was killed for one dollar.

Each of us has a daily responsibility to increase our love for God, our neighbors, and ourselves and to nurture within ourselves a growing love and forgiveness towards others. Unless we love, humbly, we are easily offended. We are too easily angered. In such a state, could we not be duped into tacit approval of certain discrimination and hate groups?

Today we are seeing wars waging in an unspeakable manner all over the world, from the Sudan to Rowanda. Hatred is fueling these conflicts, which have been waged for years. Hatred begets hatred, and there is no end. Parents and civil authorities even teach their children WHOM to hate.

The Christian response must always be to "forgive one’s enemies." This starts in the human heart, fans out to one’s family and friends, and then spreads to the community, the city, the state, the country, and the world. We must realize it starts with each of us, and we must ACT on it.

Father Robert DeGrandis is a member of the Society of St. Joseph, serving the world wide charismatic Catholic community. This article was condensed from "To Love is to Forgive" © 1997 Robert DeGrandis, S.S.J., which is available from H.O.M Books, (508) 454-7408. Used with permission of the author.

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