Baptism by Fire by Sr. Francis Clare

I didn't know that you asked for anything more than that Jesus be your Baptizer, that He fully release within you the fullness of His Spirit.  I had a happy thought; "I would like to receive this baptism of the Holy Spirit with the same disposition that the mother of Jesus had while she waited in the Upper Room. I want to receive with her faith, her trust, her desire, her love."

"I don't understand," Don said.  "I know you don't. But I do, so let's have it that way."

I got it that way. As Don prayed a peace poured over me that was so real, so profound, so complete, that the next day I could not recognize my human anatomy. It was as if I had a whole new cell arrangement. The albatross of the last three months was gone. The cloud that had held me in darkness was lifted. I knew only light‑joy‑Presence!  The Lord spoke through Isaiah 60:1‑3 and 20‑22:  

"Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For behold, darkness will cover the earth, and deep darkness the peoples; but the Lord will rise upon you, and His glory will appear upon you. And nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising . . . . Your sun will set no more, neither will your moon wane; for you will have the Lord for an everlasting light, and the days of your mourning will be finished. Then all your people will be righteous; they will possess the land forever, the branch of My planting, the work of My hands, that I may be glorified. The smallest one will become a clan, and the least one a mighty nation. I, the Lord, will hasten it in its time."

As I walked into my bedroom that night, it was as if someone had passed away. I had the sense of walking in light, of being a new creation, of needing to clean up on the old. Jesus had broken the fetters, created a presence, released a "dam."

The next day I started cleaning up. I got rid of all that savored of search and bondage! Books, papers, writings, things! All of this had never given me the peace I had sought. I came across a beautiful printing by Teilhard de Chardin, philosopher, scientist, theologian: "When man has mastered the winds and the waves and has harnessed for God the energies of love, he will have rediscovered fire."

In Jesus, in the Word, in the new Pentecost, I had redis­covered "Fire."

In the clean‑up, I got to a Christmas card that I had designed. It was something I was really proud of, for it was a clever combination of pictures from my summer in Georgia and New York. It was my social gospel way of saying Merry Christmas. You know the thought‑if you can really "hang in there" with the poorest of the poor, if you are willing to share their life, then you are really living religion.

Jesus wasn't on that card but people were. People who had a need. It seemed to me that my medium was my message‑the real message of Christmas "people who love people."

I found the Lord saying, "Throw it."  I was quick to argue, "But Lord, You can't mean it. This is the cleverest, most meaningful card I have ever designed. It is only three weeks until Christmas. I don't have time to design another."

The Lord came back, "Throw it."

I took it with me down to the burner But when I got there I chickened. "Lord, You ask too much. This time I can't.

I took it back upstairs to my room. Two days later I tried putting on the final touches before the printer would do his job. It now seemed to belong to someone else. There was no way I could relate to that card. I surrendered. "Okay, Lord. You can have it. But You are going to have to give me something in its place. And I'm not going to have a thing to do with it." As I walked out of my room the first person I met was the art teacher. "Sister Pat," I asked, "Would you letter something for me on a Christmas card?"

"Sure. What?"  Without thinking I found myself saying: "Praise the Lord for His Pentecostal birth in 1969".

           Then I panicked. "Oh no, God! I can't do that." It is one thing to have an experience, it is another to tell the world. What will people think? A Catholic nun turned Pentecostal! My mind was deluged with reasonable objections. Suddenly I could care less what people thought‑if this was what God was asking, then it must be done.

         Since then it has become more and more easy to be willing to "tell it on the mountain" that I am "that way," that I believe that way, that I walk that way. For me there is just one way: Jesus, and to be filled with Him, His love, His Spirit, His gifts, His power, and His praises!

"If anyone publicly acknowledges me as his friend, I will openly acknowledge him as my friend before my father in heaven" (Matthew 10:32, TLB). I don't want to miss out on that promise.

If there is one thing that I have learned, it is that we do not make a mistake in following those quiet inspirations of the Spirit. I received more responses from those Christmas cards with a short testimony inside than from anything I've ever sent out. And not people saying: "Watch it"; "Cool it"; "Come off it."

Instead they demanded, "I've got to hear more about this experience."

Using all my resources, I sent out more copies of The Cross and the Switchblade, They Speak with Other Tongues, and Catholic Pentecostals. As the Spirit moved I met a need in Georgia, New York, California, Arizona, Kansas, Iowa, and even Rome. In sending copies to my friend, Sister Kathryn, in the Generalate in Rome, it was my hope that Mother Georgianne, Mother General of some ten thousand Notre Dames, would take to reading them.

Later I heard from Sister Kathryn that the day after they arrived, Mother Georgianne had asked, "Does anyone know were I can find a copy of Catholic Pentecostals, The Cross and the Switchblade, and They Speak in Other Tongues? I've sent downtown in Rome three times to get them but there seems to be no place where we can buy them."

Urged by Sisters in the States, Mother began reading the books with great interest and openness. Several months later I had an opportunity to share some of my experience with her. I can still remember Mother's quiet amazement as she said, "Sister, do you realize that you are the first live Pentecostal I have ever spoken to?

Sometimes from My vantage point it is  funny to see you struggling.  It’s  funny to see your worries.  My father in heaven is amused at your little efforts, at how hard you try.  All you need to do, my daughter –this is the secret-- is to rest in Me.  All you need to do is to open up to Me.  All you need to do is to remember the cloud is opening up right over you, standing there being baptized by My Holy Spirit constantly.