Humble Boldness 

          When I was a teenager I was very critical of authority.  I had an exceptionally good mother and dad, but I was critical of their weaknesses and hoped that some day they would grow up.  There was no problem in the church that I could not solve if the Pope would just accept my advice.  In my youth, there was no problem in the Church that I could not solve if the Pope would just accept my advice.

            Like most teenagers I was going through a phase when humility gave way to pride and boldness, and I was very self‑centered.  As I reached the mid‑twenties my parents became very wise.  Their advice was always helpful.  The priests I worked with gradually had more and more to offer.  I grew to realize that their advice was really helpful and I had a lot to learn.  Humble boldness was not my strong point.

           I began to realize that if I wanted people to accept me with all my weaknesses, I had to be willing to accept others the way they are.  A wise priest advised us in our preparation for the priesthood, "Anyone can love the ideal church, the real challenge is car, you love the real church?" That led to my conviction that I must love the church, warts and all.  God does not have trouble with my weakness, I do.  Humility means accepting myself the way I am and boldness means that I never doubt that God can use me anyway.  I must never let fear limit my readiness to act in the name of the Lord.  My boldness comes from the conviction that nothing is impossible for God and HP c‑.an even use me.

         When one visits the Holy Land many of the values of Jesus are heightened m importance.  I was personally amazed at how deeply the Lord spoke to my heart.  At the top of my list was the Sea of Galilee.  This sea that is so alive with life stands in contrast to the Dead Sea; the difference between life and death is enormous.

          When Peter stepped out on the sea riled up by a storm because the Lord suggested he do so, Peter set aside the haughty pride of a seasoned fisherman in favor of the humble boldness of a follower of Jesus.  While that step defied all the wisdom he had gained about the sea as a fisherman, it did prove to be a challenge for one who left everything to follow Jesus.  A retreat master once reminded me that the other followers did not step out of the boat and walk on water.  Jesus had not called them, only Peter.  When Peter stepped out of that boat he displayed a boldness that was firmly fixed in the hearts of the other disciples.  Later Jesus would ask Peter to use that same boldness to reinforce the faith of the apostles.  Along with the boldness of stepping out, there was also the kind of humility that lies below the surface for all who are afraid of failure and embarrassment.  There was nothing haughty about that step.  Jesus cannot be great in us if we are not willing to die to self.  When our prayer life has the quality of humble boldness‑ Jesus defeats pride and humility becomes victorious.

          Abraham and Paul were men of humble boldness.  Even though they knew how powerless they were before God, Abraham haggled and Paul boasted.  When God made it clear that he intended to destroy his city because the people had gone astray, Abraham began bargaining with God.  "What if there are 50 decent people, would you still do it?" The Lord said for 50 he would relent.  Then Abraham proceeded to ask about 40, 30, 20, 15.  As God proved merciful at each request, Abraham  says, "Would it be too bold if I were to ask, would you do it if there are 10 just men?" The Lord agreed and because of Abraham's humble boldness, the number was reduced from 50 to 10.

           Paul saw himself as someone born out of due time.  God made a mistake as far as Paul was concerned because he had persecuted God's people.  But God did not give up on Paul, instead he blinded him and provided a conversion experience that turned him around.  Eventually as Paul stood in awe and wonder at God's goodness he used the expression "I boast in the Lord." Paul was in awe of God who put up with his haughty ways, and continued to pursue him in his evil days until he saw the light.  The humble boldness of Paul was expressed by saying "I boast in the Lord." God's Holy Spirit had done that for many of the great saints.  As in Abraham and Paul, we all need humble boldness when we pray.

         My brother, who is a close friend and a priest, made a thirty‑day retreat.  As friends, we freely exchange spiritual insights that affect our lives.  When I asked him what was the fruit of the retreat he said, "It all starts with powerlessness." It's only when we realize that without God we are nothing that we come to appreciate his gifts.  "Even the air we breathe is a gift; the food we eat, the water we drink, the things we see, the people we know, they are all gifts.  We are powerless without God.

         Humility starts with the realization that God is with us and we are powerless without Him.  As one allows the many gifts that enhance our lives to remind us of God, something happens in the depths of our being.  A joy bubbles up, awe and wonder fill our soul, an attitude of gratitude pervades us.  It's easy to realize that what was said to Mary applies to us.  "The Lord is with you."

           From that humble stance of powerlessness develops a holy boldness.  Nothing is impossible for God.  If God is with me, everything is possible.  When I see someone more talented or better at helping others, I need not be envious or put them down.  I can rejoice with the Lord and find an incentive to try harder.  God never puts me in a situation that "we" cannot handle together.  When I start getting sad or fall short of what I should be, it is a reminder that the "we" of my relationship with the Lord is weak.  I need to grow in humble boldness because with the Lord we have it all.

           Six months after my priest brother's comments on powerlessness he met with an accident.  His neck was broken and paralysis took over.  He is still numb from his chest down, and in the process of going from a quadriplegic to a paraplegic.  There is some movement in his arms and hands.  His fingers can feel, but their movement is very restricted.  In an instant he went from being a very energetic and athletic person to a totally disabled person.  At first he could not breathe, he could not swallow, he could hardly talk.  The circulation of his blood needed to be assisted and watched closely.  His normal body functions needed assistance.  He found many new dimensions of powerlessness and still requires about four hours of care each day plus many hours of therapy.  What is great about him has been his total acceptance of his situation.  He is always upbeat.  Therapists love to work with him because of his 100% effort and cheerful disposition.  He can't find enough ways to say thanks for all the people who help him.  They are all gifts to him and God is good.  Every day he says a new amen to his condition.

          We often pray together.  There is humble boldness in our prayer.  "Father, the quicker these hands can function to hold a host, the quicker I can serve your people and offer Mass with them.  He is my regular reminder of God's blessings.  One day he commented on how lucky he is because the accident did not injure his mind.  He met people with that affliction and thanks God that his mind can function.  Humble boldness is in him and his prayers are powerful.  Today he offers Mass from a wheelchair and his sermons touch people more deeply than before his accident.  God has used my brother’s humble powerlessness in a in a bold way.